new year new year

it's going to be 2009 soon! another busy year. sigh. haha. exam is starting real soon. but i'm still slacking. teng and i are thinking of starting to study after the new year. hope it is not too late to start studying. econs and ibm are killer. now getting more and more frustrated each time i touch the notes.
hopefully after the new year i'll have more determinations to study. i really need someone to guide me! haha..

anyway.. FYI, i'm starting another blog soon. so this one will not be in used once 2009 comes! haha. so i guess this is the last post. lol.

Happy new year to all!

许哲佩-疯子

刷牙我想哭

洗脸我想哭

走路我想哭

静止我想哭

出太阳我想哭

起风我想哭

听歌我想哭

看喜剧我想哭

我控制不住自己

负担太重的情绪

我拒绝面对结局

沉重的问题我不想听

伱给的很多规矩说了很久的道理

却瞒不了我的伈

再压抑再压抑我快不行..

(天摇地动昏天暗地)

有眼泪没眼泪

伱觉得我疯了

我瞬间耳鸣听不见伱们说的

我疯言我疯语

眼泪让我瞎了

我哭我眼前世界

原来快乐要用悲伤换的

可知不知道
伱别在否认

我要的自由能不能够永生

可是我累了

我只好哭了

我像疯子的般不停的哭

我没有出路

伱也当我是个疯子

我是个疯子

classmates gathering

yea! the outing held on the saturday was a successful one! can tell many of the ppl are enjoying themselves. haha.. except the fact that matthew is kinda mean to yl. =.= hahaha... after eating at paragon's ding tai feng. we went to esplanade-harry's pub for a drink. all taste not tt bad la. only tt i feel kinda warm and stomach weird weird when i was on my way home. lol

wee chien was sort of drunk i guess. thou boon piao told me that he drank more that wc did (they shared). lol.. wc actually call me xiuyi. lol.. must be drunk. lol.

Matt also ask why i nv invite them to the outing. i was... ... stunned. then i donno how to answer him sia. so awkward. rawrs!

really enjoyed the outing. haha..

after school...

today, teng and i bought bubble tea for class during break. it was a wrong decision. lol. coz both of us were extremely urgent, and we can't wait for the lesson to end. haha.. we dashed to the toilet immediately after the lesson ends. lol. i guess we learned our lesson.

I took 184 home. and a bigger sized Caucasian came and sat with me, occupying 1/5 of my seat :(

"hah. i shall sit here" he murmured. i tried to smile back convincingly and continue to read my storybk. Don't know why, he rest a part (actually wanted to type portion, but it sounded wrong. haha..) of his arm on my thigh. Awkwardly, i didn't move till the bus terminates at bukit panjang. "is that mrt?" He spoke again. "erm.. no, it's lrt" i said softly, wondering if he knows what is a lrt. lol.. then he said sth again, but i couldn't catch it. haha.. and he said,"bye!"

"bye.." trying to smile as convincing as i could.

Unexpectedly, after i alight from the bus, he wave to me again. haha.. so did i.

Phew... then i quickly walk to bbp to catch some food to eat.

Then i saw this boy boy sitting on the osim product. he's so cute, so i took a photo of him. Then i saw his grandma and sister standing beside the 'musical car' (those that move after you insert a doller or sth) hahaa.. i guess is the grandma's idea. Free seating on the uyoyo. haha.. and the little boy seems to enjoy himself. lol...

After looking ard, i decided to donate my money to the salvation army. haha.. Don't know why, i just feel tt i can't starve a bit to earn the smile of the ppl standing beside the donation bin. haha.. (sounds so noble.) well.. my mummy says:"有失必有得".. hope my little contribution did help a little to the ppl. :D

last korean language lesson

went to esplanade yesterday for my last korean language lesson for dinner. *finally*

the bbq was nice but the side dishes isn't up to my expectation partly bcoz i don't really like veggie.

Yummy looking pics

the dinner cost me $30 over dollars. Not really happy abt it. coz they all ordered beef which my sis and i can't eat it and it's the most expensive one! wth. Unwillingly, my sis and i have to agree that they order another portion of the beef which cost like $35. and the auntie sitting in front of me told me and my sis that the beef is the most tasty meat among. F lah. Can't she show a courtesy that she shouldn't even say tt coz we can't eat the beef and we are suppose to pay for it? i tried to smile unwillingly and later ignored her. I am a devotee. so what's wrong? Please show your respect.

My sis and i decided to go home immediately after the dinner. but we knew that the auntie is also travelling in the same route as us coz she live in bukit gombak. We avoided her by 'going shopping'. haha.. Waved goodbyes enthusiastically. Little did we expect. she didn't board the previous train! but we just acted as if we didn't see her. haha..

unexpected outcomes

yawns.. finally have the mood to blog after such a long inactivity. haha..

All of a sudden, i feel that things do have unexpected outcomes. When people are appearing cheerful, actually these ppl are in great pain. Perhaps they are trying to hide their feelings. sigh. i feel so upset for them man. i donno how to cheer them up but i send my regards to you. if you need someone to talk to, i can lend my ears to you :)

cheers.

after pbf lesson..

yeah!! finished my pbf test. think can score ba, coz it's a open book test. lol. Think i can really start to think to come up a biz with my sis already. heheh.. i have been telling her tt i don have the time to set up the blog and all the stuffs. haha.. sry sis >_<

yup. can start to slack again. haha.. thank you all my friends and relatives for wishing me happy birthday. *deeply appreciated* lol.

my last day of being 18 yrs old

yeah! tml is my bday. haha.. i guess tml will be the most busiest day ever, coz i got lesson till 3pm tml =.= later still got korean language lesson. sigh.
Lastly, i wish myself happy birthday! ('_')

dinner with ex-colleagues

went waraku for dinner at Marina square ytd. small portion of pasta with a super nice dessert. hahaha.. i didn't know the other two guys(calvin and cm) are treating, otherwise i would have gone somewhere better =.= lol.. I will upload the pics asap. haha..

It's a dry afternoon. Woke up ard 11 plus and had my brunch (bread again). then went to study for my PBF test. really can't get anything in my head. My brain started to repel whatever things that i tried to get in. sigh. so i decided to surf net a bit. haha.. and look! this is what i tried to picture my own face. though it doesn't really look like me. lol..

trip to nus

I went NUS ytd with teng to meet up with our dearest friend, shumin. hahaha.. it has been quite some time ever since we met. (not very long la, last tue in nuh?) hahah..

yeap.. we met up and chit-chat a bit. hahhaa.. i miss the time where we mug so hard for our A levels! It has been a year since we finish our A levels. Time really flies. Sigh. Everone of us went to different uni taking different faculty (except me and teng^^) If teng wasn't with me... i guess i'll be super lonely! haha..

After eating the yong tau foo from Arts canteen, teng and i went ard the sch campus. it's a huge campus. Ard 5 times of SIM?! hahaha... As usual, shumin can never feel at ease with the hmk that she has done. haha.. it's a good attitude tt i must say here. Unlike me, don't really bother what i had written after my teacher returns me. lol.

Then we went to science to hand in her hmk, and when to see sth that is really shocking and kinda cute.

isn't it cute? haha..

hope to meet up with shumin soon! Really miss her. lol.

life in NUH :(

From now onwards, i'll treasure my life like never before! After the swollen leg incident, i realised how important and how great that i'm able to walk on my own, running ard and going tolilet on my own! First day in the hospital is a total disaster. i was forced to wait at a waitng area for the doctors to examine me. i waited for almost 6 hours. Dying man. it seems like 6 years can! then i was told to 打点滴. super duper painful. i don even dare to fold my elbow thinking that it is an needle. Then blood flow out of the tube as the liquid finished. I'm not trying to scare you, but i'm sharing my experience. haha.. it's 4 days man!

My blood!

First night at ward 53. i can't sleep at all. My sister was there with me, sleeping on a chair. The coughing sound of the other patients as well as moaning of the other patients made me feel very upset. I think to myself, why would such things happen to me. I only know tt i couldn't stop crying. Bcoz i wasn't strong enough.

After the doctor examine me on the second day, i felt better and i told myself to be strong. i can't let my family worry for me. so, i decided not to shed a tear. Though the blood test was another disaster for me.

haha.. i got this get well soon card and flower from my sister's bf.

Sigh. My first bouquet of flower.......... ........... .......... is received in this kind of condition.

Here, i would like to thank all friends who show their concern to me and also ppl who came down to visit me. Especially tengteng, wanni and shumin. They made me feel better. Also i would like to thank my whole family. Love you all!

My new hp ^^

yes! finally got my W910i. i guess those who are holding on their w910i won't know i see them in a envious eyes. lol. the phone and everything is like~ so nice^^

okay, after my econs lecture, me, tengteng, and 3 other guys (not sure of their names) went to holland v to eat in coffee club. tengteng and i ordered seafood lasagne and a muddy mudpie! but i was very full when i finished my share of the seafood lasagne.

after tat, we intended to study coffee bean. generally, i felt tt it was quite productive. Although i wasn't able to focus fully bcoz of the little boy sitting behind me was so fugitive. some discussions led me to think, and thus i think i did understand the subject more. haha.. and the tables are too small!

oh ya, something embarrassing happened during the econs lect. i guess i better don mention here. otherwise... very throw face de. lol

my grandpa's 11th death annivasary

today is my grandpa's 11th death anniversary. it has been 11 years! i asked my mum how well did grandpa treated me and my sis. i can tell he dotes us a lot. but sadly, he left us to a better world. well.. maybe i should feel happy for him. at least, for now, he doesn't feel being tortured.

Grandpa, you will always be remembered!

Lunch with my sis ^^

Today, i just gotten back a assignment marked by my lecturer. Not fantastic results. I tot i can do better than that. sigh. but that is not the matter. i was affected by this incident. but what is done is done. the important thing is to understand and learn what i've went wrong. Agree? :)

After econs lecture, i took bus 61 to holland v to meet up with my sister who is having her training at Civil Service College for lunch. We went crystal jade. hhaha.. i recalled the last time i stepped into crystal jade was ard 2-3 mths ago. I wanted to treat my sis, but in the end sis treat me. haha.. it always happen this way. ^^

then, i took mrt back to CCK. I was looking ard to see if i can meet up with my ex-colleagues. but i guess all of them are busy with PSLE and other stuffs. I got this strong feeling that i will meet up someone whom i know. There she is!-chiow yoke. hahha.. Teng's friend. Managed to do some catch up with her. can tell that she is stressed up, studying in NUS. i wonder if it's fortunate for me to study in SIM which didn't really have any stress. no tutorial no test. but only ONE final exam.

Soon, i alighted at CCK and went to change currency for aus dollars. haha. to earn some $. but sadly, they do not have any stock! goodness, i withdrew so much $. i went home quickly coz i scared later kena robbed. lol. okay, i'm exaggerating again.

说好的 幸福呢

你的绘画凌乱着 在这个时刻
我像气氛纯白的白鸽 甜蜜散落了
继续莫名的拉扯 我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌 假装没事了

时间过了 走了 爱情面临选择 你冷了 倦了 我哭了
一开始都不快乐
你用卡片纸写着 有些爱只给到这 真的痛了

怎么了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢 我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心依稀数着你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得
你不懂了 说好的 幸福呢 我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢

你的绘画凌乱着 在这个时刻
我像气氛纯白的白鸽 甜蜜散落了
继续莫名的拉扯 我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌 假装没事了

时间过了 走了 爱情面临选择 你冷了 倦了 我哭了
一开始都不快乐 你用卡片纸写着
有些爱只给到这 真的痛了
怎么了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢 我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心依稀数着你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得
你不懂了 说好的 幸福呢 我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢

怎么了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢 我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
我都还记得
你不懂了 说好的 幸福呢 我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

depressed

recently, i feel tt i'm always in my own world. Like donno wat is happening to my surrounding. Even if i know, i can't be bothered as well. No mood to attend lectures also. Attend lectures like never attend like tt. I'm losing this and that at home and in sch! Although it is nth costly, but i know that it is me who is careless and didn't even take care of my own things. All of a sudden, i feel tt i'm so useless and hopeless. Is this the first few stages of depression?! oh no no no, i better change b4 everthing gets too late. at least, i know that there are ppl who cares for me. haha.. ya, it's you. :D

Chick curry

Here are some more pics tt i cooked. this 2 are ytd's dinner:
Haha.. The pork chop is not fully cooked. lol.
This is wat i done today.

i had a hard time cutting and peeling potatoes and all the stuffs. but it looks yummy isn't it? hahaa.. It is indeed nice. lol. :D

Back aka 1st time cooking

tada! i'm finally back to blogging. haha.. I would like to share with you what i've done yesterday! i cooked fried rice! haha.. look at the pic. Looks tasty right? hahah.. i feel ashamed of myself for always waiting for my mum to cook lunch or dinner for me. so, i've decided to help her out whenever i'm free so tt i can at least learn how to cook for my family in the future. haha.. I did taste some. and i realise that salt and all sorts of sources are not mixed well. haha.. Long time nv cook, tt's why gotten this kind of result. hahah.. so shameful. But generally, i think it's nice. Serious.
My father and sister says it's passable. hahaa. i'll blog more again abt my cooking skills next time. :)

MIA

MIA -will blog again when i have the time and know wat to blog about. haha!

embarressing day

there is only 1 lesson today and that is maths 1. The topic is all abt differtiating the equations: dy/dx tt kind of thing. hahahah.. All of a sudden, i heard a phone vibrate and i was thinking who the hell is tt person who didn't even bother to cancel the phone call. It vibrated 4 times. Until the break then I realised i was tt person who didn't even feel the vibration la! So dumb. Received 2 sms somemore. So i supposed tt the calls are from one of my colleagues who is working in MOE-Chee meng. LOL. I sms and 'scold' him why so bo liao to call so many times just to jio me out for lunch. hahahaa.. then realised it wasn't him. Super pai sei can!

Sorry uncle meng!

LOL. okay, got to finish up my IBM mm first. take cares! ^^